I have been thinking quite a bit since I got here. Every single person on this tribe with the exception of one has to prove to me that I can trust them. One way or another even if we weren't aligned they screwed me over. Ibe targeted me vicariously. Candice and Miki voted me out with the idol, and Elyse treated me like a pawn and the scum of the Earth.
None of those people have any reason to doubt my loyalty. Brandon stuffed tribal loyalty down their throats every single round he was in the game so now that they are on my tribe they should expect that I will be loyal to them, which I hope will be the case. Unfortunately this game is bound to have many twists and turns and I may be forced to work with more powerful people (like Kim, and DDanielle) in order to stay in the game. While I want a member of Gwad to win... I really want that member to be me.
Judd on the other hand is different. I screwed over Judd in season 2 (and he blames me for Bob Dawg's betrayal of him in Season 4 for whatever reason) so needless to say I am not in Judd's good books. He has not been hesitant to show this. He has told people that he is less than thrilled to be a member of Gwad and told me straight up that I was annoying and he did not trust me. These words cut deep because I want to be the beloved leader of my tribe and not to be despised like I was in my original season.
But, but, I am not even being that Brandon like...I talked to Judd in hopes that I could convince him that I was really on his side. I told him that I wanted to get rid of Kim and DDanielle in the future and work with some of the people that have less ties (I.E. my current final four alliance). Of course Miki and Kim are really close so that wouldn't work but I was being honest and upfront with him when I told him of my aspirations to not take the boring approach and work with people who will not only be the obvious choice, but definitely beat me in the finals. Bob Dawg told me that you don't play the game with friends, you make friends during the game. This may of been a tad bit hypocritical since he did really play the game with Ted but whatever I agreed and we continued on.
Not long after I finish talking with Judd I get invited into a new group chat. Kim and DDanielle are in the chat. They say that Judd told every single thing I had told him to Kim. I had a minor panic attack thinking that they were going to turn their backs on me but they quickly said they weren't mad. Did I believe them?
No but then they expanded that they had pulled Judd into a skype chat a couple nights before and had talked crap on me as well. This surprisingly made me feel better. I quickly had a less defensive argument and just went with the simple "Judd was complaining that he doesn't trust me and I told him that to shut up." God definitely had my back on this one. I think God, though I doubt he cares that much about this online Survivor game, wants to see a more exciting game and not simply the Pentagon (Brandon, Ted, Kim, DD, and Miki) run through this game like rabid dogs so he made Kim and DD not doubt my loyalty. Then again they could plotting my dismissal in the same fashion as I am plotting theirs.
The immunity challenge was live and Gwad was put to their first test. We won the challenge easily completing faster then any of the other tribes. I looked down at my tribe with such pride as their leader. I wanted to lead them to the promise land. We parted the red sea and ran to immunity.
After the challenge I praised God for the victory and continued forming ties with my tribe mates...
At this point, Miki is my closest ally on the tribe. I wish she was my closest ally in the game but unfortunately I believe Kim has that locked up. Kim is a real thorn in my side. In a perfect world I would take Kim out early merge and take DD all the way to 5 or 4 but I am getting off topic. I enjoy talking to Miki a lot and she helped me pick out my tribe so I am really putting a lot of eggs in this basket and hopefully as long as we remain on Gwad she will have my back.
Candice and I have grown a lot closer since our first season. She is still just as opinionated as last time but Brandon has learned to roll with the punches and just agree with her opinions even if they are clearly foolish and less credible then my opinions. I trust her quite a bit though am not sure she would side with me over Miki.
Oh how things have changed. I originally thought it would be funny to pick him again just to vote him off again but I legitimately trust this guy. The fact we have good talks combined with the fact I do not believe anyone could hold a conversation longer than 3 minutes with him makes me feel secure that he has my back.
Considering this whole confessional has been about Judd, I think my feelings are clear on him. I would love to vote him out again for not being trustworthy however on a personal level it would really break my heart to vote him out again so that is what is saving him.
I talked to Coach about possibly working together. I do like Coach and think that while he is a big threat, he really doesn't have the same social ties that a lot of others have which doesn't make him that worrisome in the later game. I would rather see Judd out before Coach. Unfortunately I do not believe he took anything I said to him seriously so I really can't work with someone who doesn't believe a word I say.
Ideal first boot. When I found out she was a replacement I wanted to control her destiny. Elyse is an incredibly manipulative player who on the night of the first challenge tried incredibly hard to sway Candice and Ibrehem with talk of Books and something Candice liked that I forgot. I was legitimately worried that they would want to keep her but after the first challenge I surveyed ideal first boots from the tribe and it was still here.
When I decided to play as Brandon, and watched FvF 2 I considered actually having a massive rage quit in the middle of the game. Of course I doubt I would actually give up my shot at winning Sausage Island but the thought definitely crossed my mind. Rory's rage quit made me realize that it would be foolish... plus he already did the rage quit for me. I will continue to be bi-polar and spiritual, because that is what I do best.
